Republicans Decide that 800 Years is Long Enough for Any Law

That pesky little Habeas Corpus thing.

Who needs it. Though the actual origin is under some dispute, it very likely goes back to at least 1215 which is when the Magna Carta was adopted.

800 years is a long time to keep a law on the books.

Literally translated, Habeas Corpus means "You have the body".

The Writ of Habeas Corpus is a Court Order that a prisoner be brought into the court so the court can determine whether the person has been wrongfully detained.

The Supreme Court has said that the writ is "the fundamental instrument for safeguarding individual freedom against arbitrary and lawless state action." Harris v. Nelson, 394 U.S. 286, 290-91 (1969) .

Sooooo, who needs it.

Not us.

At least that is the verdict from Congress this week.

Heck, us Republicans are just a progressive group. We like to keep our laws fresh. None of those stale old 800 year old ones. That is why we have been working so hard on shredding those Constitutional thingys regarding right to speedy trial, right to counsel, right to privacy, right to be free from cruel and unusual punishment, blah, blah, blah. Boy O' Boy. Those liberals sure are a whiny bunch.

Boy, if we get one of those terrorist-lovin' longhair liberal freaks in the White House in 2008, we are going to have to revoke a lot of laws that allow the President to unilaterally decide who is a terrorist and who can be detained indefinitely without counsel.


Signed,

Saul AnewAss
Chair, Michigan Grand Ole Oil Party

Republican War on Terror Has CREATED MORE TERROR!!!

According to President Bush's own government report, the Bush Administration War on Terror has created more terrorists and made the world, and America in particular, less safe than before.

Gosh, if Bush can do that, just imagine what his little DeCeptive Dick could do as Governor. Or what his little Bushchard clone could do as a rubber stamp Senator.

Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words and sometimes it is just priceless.

Ooops My Bad! I Guess the National Economy is Horrible Too!

Look, we know we have been ranting about Michigan being in a single state recession. And we know that there are some pesky little sources of information out there that are telling you otherwise.

For example, that pinko commie site "Bloomberg" that specializes in economic news is saying that

The U.S. lost its position as the world's most competitive economy to Switzerland as budget and trade deficits prompted a slide to sixth in the World Economic Forum's annual rankings.

Switzerland jumped from fourth place last year and Finland, Sweden, Denmark and Singapore all overtook the U.S. with Japan, Germany, the Netherlands and the U.K. rounding out the top ten in the study of 125 nations by the Geneva-based forum.

Darn those neutral countries to hell! See if we ever save them from the Nazis. Oh wait, we didn't. Well, in my puny little revisionist mind we must have. Either that or they are just commie pinkos who hate America! They hate us for our freedom! (Apparently they don't hate us for our economy because their economy is better.)

Okay, look, I admit it is bad when Singapore has a better economy than the U.S. But this is not the fault of Little Dick DeVos. In fact, I'm sure when Little Dick reads this he will immediately fire some more people in Michigan and locate some more manufacturing in Singapore!!!

It must be Granholm's fault.
She keeps trying to blame President Bush for this single country economic disaster.

Whatever you do, don't read this part of that Bloomberg rag....

. . . the U.S. . . . ranked 69th for its economic environment with the government set to post a fifth consecutive annual budget deficit and after its current account deficit widened more than forecast last quarter to the second-largest on record.

Oh, and just because "Bloomberg" was formed by that Republican guy named Michael Bloomberg, don't let them fool you. They are just a bunch of liberal crybabies. They just liked Clinton because the economy boomed while he was President. They have an irrational hatred for President Bush that has nothing to do with Bush's six year record of destroying our national economy.


Would we lie to you?

(Well.....yes we would. I certainly would. How do you think I got this job as the Chair of the Michigan Grand Ole' Oil Party (GoOP)? It is part of the Republican credo to lie. But don't tell anyone. It will be our little secret.)


Signed,
Saul AnewAss
Chair, MI GoOP

Republican Lies of Interest 9-26-06

42 Days to Victory!!!

The evil Big Dick (Cheney) came to spread his poisonous personality to Michigan Republicans. I'd like to say some of his evilness rubbed off on me, but I was pretty evil to begin with so it is hard to say.

Big Dick did help Bushchard raise over $300,000 worth of evil money. Big Dick then helped the state party by laundering another $250,000 through the party (which we will quietly contribute to Bushchard).

Now, let me jump to something completely false and unrelated.

I will now unjustly attack Governor Granholm for forming a bi-partisan contingent of power brokers to lobby the fedreal government on behalf of Northwest Airlines. See, Northwest, which runs the largest airline hub in Michigan at Detroit Metro, wants to get the Detroit to Shanghai, China route.

So the Governor put together this bi-partisan group and has written letters to get support so Northwest can get this route.

That would not only help keep Northwest in business, but it would help keep Michigan as a major hub for Northwest. That of course would preserve jobs at the airline while also helping our auto industry as they work to tap the Chinese market.

But, as you know, I am the chair of the Michigan Grand Ole' Oil Party, or GoOP as we like to be called, so I can't possibly be honest and note that the Governor is doing the right thing.

I've scratched my brain -- at least I think it is my brain because I sit it on it all day long -- and I've come up with the idea of attacking the Governor for being a hypocrite because she "joined a bipartisan group of Michigan leaders to encourage increased travel and trade."

Of course now I have to confuse the issue a little more, so I think I'll accuse the Governor of running for the Senate.

Oh there goes my brain itching again. I better stand up and scratch it some more.


Signed,
Saul AnewAss (I'm really a big ass, but a new one just sounds a little better.)

Cheney to Campaign for Little Dick and Bushchard

Big Dick Cheney is coming to Michigan to campaign for Little Dick De-evolution and for Bushchard (a George Bush Clone).

These are the most corrupt and untrustworthy guys in the world!

Republicans Ashamed to Admit They Are Republicans

There must be something wrong with the Republicans running for office this year that they are so ashamed of their own record that they won't even admit they are Republicans!!

DeVos doesn't mention that he is a Republican on his website.

We looked at the websites of the following Republican Congressmen: Knollenberg, McCotter, and Rogers. None of them mention that they are Republicans.

Even Republicans are ashamed to be Republicans these days.

Republicans Scramble to Spin DeVos Away from His Extremist Beliefs

The Republicans are now lying in an attempt to cover up for Dick DeVos' extremist beliefs.

They have spent months and millions of dollars trying to get Jobless Dick to focus on economic issues and to avoid the truth, i.e., that he has invested in China and is making millions for himself but nothing for Michigan workers and that he has radical and extreme social views.

* DeVos supports destroying the public school system by taking away precious dollars in funding.

* DeVos supports mandating public schools teach creationism as a science -- in direct violation of the Federal Courts.

* DeVos funds lawyers to file frivolous lawsuits against school districts so as to force them to waste their money on these frivolous lawsuits rather than spend it on educating children.

Creationism Poll

Free polls from Pollhost.com

Dick DeVos Said Public Schools in Michigan Should be Forced to Teach Creationism in Science Classes. Do you agree?

Yes No Undecided

Close up of Betsey DeVos

This is a close up photo of Betsey DeVos.

I must say, she looks better in this picture than she has looked in years.

Lies of Interest 9-21-06

47 Days until the Grand Oil Party finds out if Voters Know Our Candidates Are Extremists!!

Broken Calendar: DeVos Slips Back into Middle Ages

PROMISE: "...we must teach religious doctrine to all school children"

RESULT: "If we can't teach creationism in Public Schools, then we must shut them all down and let our wealthy colleagues take their children to our private religious schools."

Little Dickie DeVoss

Sound familiar? Yes. Don't worry, DeVos is just as much of an extremist as the rest of the right wing controlled Republican party.

We believe the new curriculum should focus on why christianity is the only religion in the world that is correct, why we should continue our crusade against the infidels and non-believers, and how to make money through a pyramid scheme. Math, English and Science are overrated and unnecessary.

BUSH DESTROYS U.S. ECONOMY BUT WE BLAME THE GOV ANYWAY

The U.S. economy has lost over 5 million manufacturing jobs since Bush came into office. Clearly, since he is a Republican, that is not his fault. Just because a majority of manufacturing jobs in the Country were located in Michigan and that Michigan was disproportionately impacted by Bush's failed economic policies is no reason to pin the blame on the President.

Clearly it is the Governor's fault. It is her fault because she is both a Democrat and a woman. We all know that Women aren't capable of handling important jobs. They should be home having our manly babies.

BUSH & BUSHCHARD ARE IDENTICAL TWINS

The DNA tests are back, and we have confirmed that Bush and Bushchard are identical twins from different mothers and possibly different fathers as well.

Bushchard's new ad is about new jobs. Particularly the new job he hopes to get this November because he has realized that he is entirely incompetent and unable to perform his current job.




REALLY GOOD LIES TOLD BY US ON TELEVISION

If you want to see some really good lying, catch "Off Our Rockers" this week on PBS. We tell you some great lies about jobs and some even better lies about regulations in the state.

If you want to know when a Republican is lying, just check to see if they are speaking. If so, then yes of course they are lying! Only Democrats are foolish enough to tell the truth.

Lies of Interest

48 Days until the Grand Oil Party finds out if Voters Know We Lie!

Iacocopuffs releases Ad supporting DeVos
Former CEO of coo coo for cocoapuffs released an ad yesterday supporting DeVos.
Today he admitted that he has severe dementia and doesn't remember what he did yesterday.

DeVos Does Not Believe He Has Evolved!

BREAKING NEWS:

DeVos does not believe he has evolved. Those who know DeVos agree. He is not very evolved.

In fact, he is much like his friend George Bush.

See Freep article for more details.

Bushchard Running for Senate On Bush's Back

This photo from the Detroit News says it all.

Look how close Republican wanna-be Bushchard is to the real Bush!

If you like Bush, you'll love Bushchard!

New Polls Confirm that We Are Losers

Recent polls confirm that the Grand Oil Party in Michigan is made up of a bunch of losers!

We are so pleased that the polls are starting to show the truth.

For those of you that don't understand polling, when we here at the G.Oily.P. are way behind our opponents, that means we are really winning, but that the polls, like reality, have a liberal bias.